The Blue Rose

Written 2010, Sincerely, "C"

The Blue Rose

Ren shielded her eyes as a stream of morning light invaded her room. Her little sister had always loved waking her in this way, and if anyone else had been opening the curtains at 6 AM, Ren’s tolerance for this ritual would have faded fast.

“Rin, I don’t need to be woken up this early on a Saturday.” Ren mumbled. Despite her insistence on not needing to be woken up, she got out of bed and went to stand in front of her sister. “What’s the occasion?” she asked.

“Daniel came over last night while you were at the grocery store!” Rin said with a smile on her face that made Ren raise an eyebrow. “He said he had some things to discuss with you, and to meet him at the usual spot at 8.” Ren sighed. Daniel had always been like this; spontaneous and otherworldly in a way. They had grown up together in this sleepy little town, and whenever they talked, Ren always had the feeling that he didn’t belong here, in such a “normal” place. It was like he was meant to be somewhere else, and that he was only here to invite Ren out to discuss strange and vague topics at ungodly hours of the morning. At least, that’s how it had been lately.

“Ren? Wake up!” Rin giggled as she watched her sister stare off into space.

Ren shrugged. “I’m awake. Come on, let’s get breakfast.”

Ren checked her watch as she began her walk to the “usual spot”- a park not too far from her house. She glanced from house to house, eyeing their well-kept lawns and tidy gardens with passive eyes. One could say it was mind-numbingly beautiful, how these people managed to maintain such picturesque gardens, all with the same flowers, and the same colors. Everywhere she looked, she saw purple hyacinths, white lilies, and nothing else. It amused her how no one dared to be different, and bored her at the same time. She had been walking past the same gardens and smelling the same flowers for as long as she could remember. When she reached the park she scanned the area for Daniel, and spotted him sitting under a tree with his knees bent. She lingered there for a moment, watching him. He was pretty tall, just a bit taller than her, and had the most unique hair color Ren had ever seen- a dark auburn. His hair had always reminded her of blood red roses, something she had yet to see in this consistently dull town. She always wondered how he had managed to be born with such an unusual hair color. His hair always seemed to sweep over his eyes in such a way that it never actually obstructed his vision, whereas Ren had to pin her bangs back every day to keep them from covering her eyes. When she managed to tear her eyes away from his hair, she walked over to him and sat down, to which he responded by promptly standing up and brushing the grass from his jeans. She looked up at him, perplexed, and said, “You’re standing up as soon as I sit next to you? Who does that?”

He grinned down at her and offered her his hand. “I was only sitting down until you got here. I have a lot of things I want to discuss with you, and they won’t have the same impact if we’re sitting down.” Ren sighed and took his hand. He had always been a strange one.

“Whatever. What did you want to talk about?” she asked. He put his hands in his pockets and looked around the park, and off into the distance. She stared at him, wondering why he was avoiding her gaze. Usually he would always look directly at her with this bright smile, a smile she found ridiculous and somewhat blinding at times. Usually he would be spilling stories he had heard about the “outside world” that his “distant relatives” had told him. Ren recalled such stories such as how his cousin had gone hiking behind his house, and had found an abandoned garden where “all sorts of flowers grew, the likes we’ve never seen before!” She always wondered how embellished his stories were, or if they were even true. Nevertheless she enjoyed listening to them.

“Daniel? Are you ok? Say something!” she said as she continued to watch him. He had gone silent.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” he said, and let out a shaky laugh. “It’s just that…I’m so sick of this town, Ren.” He gazed off into the distance again. “Summer is coming up, and I think we should leave this town and go see new places.” He looked at her, blue eyes glittering in the sun, and Ren felt her face growing hot. A few seconds later she returned to her senses, and turned to face the sun instead. He was at it again, trying to persuade her to go along with one of his vague “grand” schemes. Ren recalled when they were younger, when she was seven and he was eight. He had asked her to come with him to “find all the birds in our town”. He said he wanted to ask them if they could help him and Ren fly away. Ren had laughed at him then and called him silly. He’s still silly, she thought; still full of vague dreams with no real means of accomplishing them. She turned away and said, “You know I can’t. My father works all the time and I have to take care of Rin.” It had been that way ever since her mother had died when she was ten, and now she was seventeen. During those seven years, Daniel had seemed to grow even stranger, if that was possible. “Rin can come with us,” Daniel said. She turned back to face him, face returned to its normal hue, and said, “Don’t just add her on to your spontaneous ideas.” What was he thinking? He knew her situation, and he still presented her with vague fantasies about leaving this town. She was beginning to feel like he was taunting her. She knew he wouldn’t drop it though, and she prepared herself for more. “No, really. Rin can come. There’s enough room in the car, and I’ve been saving some money…” he paused, and looked at her as if he was looking for approval or recognition. “My cousin lives in a town surrounded by nature, and he has spare rooms. He said that he’d love to show us a world that’s different from our own…” he trailed off when he saw the annoyed look she was giving him. She smirked and asked, “The same cousin who finds secret gardens behind his house?” She shook her head and sighed for what seemed like the 20^th time that day. “Daniel, this won’t work. Even if there’s space and you have money and whatnot, be realistic. Even though we’ve known each other for years, you’re still an eighteen-year old guy. My father won’t just let me and Rin go off on a road trip with you.” She brushed her dark brown hair from her eyes, mentally cursing the bobby pins for not doing their job. “Now is that all you wanted to talk about? I’m sorry, but I have some homework to finish today…” she said as she intentionally averted his gaze. She was sure those blue eyes could pierce through anyone’s soul. She cringed as she imagined the thought of him really having that sort of power, being able to peer into her mind, and learn all her secrets. “Just one more thing,” he said a bit suddenly, causing her to jump a little. “Why do you always keep your hair up?” She relaxed. This wasn’t the first time he had asked her this, and she responded the same way every time. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” She gave him a small wave, checked her watch, and started walking back to her house. She heard “Just think about it!” as she walked away.

“So? So? What did you guys talk about?” Rin inquired as soon as Ren walked in the door. Ren frowned. Her sister was far too energetic, even for a nine-year-old.

“It was the same as usual. He went off on one of his vague tangents.” Ren said as she headed for the stairs.

“What’s a tangent?” Rin inquired, staring at her sister with big brown eyes.

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” Ren replied, smiling and patting her sister’s head. Ren felt feelings of hypocrisy creeping up on her as she headed to the stairs once more. ‘You’ll understand when you’re older.’ What a silly statement. She was eight years older than Rin, and she didn’t understand Daniel at all. After all the years they had spent together, he was still a mystery to her. His motives, his true thoughts, his unrealistic wishes, even his appearance baffled her. Ren tried to push him out of her mind as she sat down to start her homework.

            A few hours later, loud knocks on the door made Ren nearly fall out of her chair. She stumbled over to the door, already knowing who it was, and opened it with the crankiest face she could muster.

“Daniel came over again,” her sister exclaimed. “He looked sad. Did you two have a fight?” Ignoring her sister, Ren walked out of the room and looked around. Why was it that whenever he came over to her house, she never actually saw him there? It was yet another one of those mysterious things about him that both frustrated and confused her. Once she was sure that he wasn’t there, she went back to her room and attempted to get back on track. This essay is never going to get finished, she thought grimly. “Kind of. He asked me to do something that he knows I can’t do,” Ren said, knowing the reply was more than late, and hoped the time gap would make her sister forget what they were talking about and drop the subject altogether. To her dismay, she didn’t.

“Huh? What? What did he ask you to do?” Rin squealed. She was literally bouncing off the walls now. “Wait! I know! Did he ask you to marry him?”

Ren’s pen nearly flew out of her hand when she heard what her sister had just said. Where did she get that idea? Kids these days really did come up with the craziest ideas, she thought. But was it really that crazy? Ren smirked as she began thinking that if she were Rin’s age, she might actually have thought the same thing. What else would a little kid think? She and Daniel did spend a lot of time together, they had grown up together, and she supposed they would be called “best friends”. But that was just it. Were they really just friends? She had been pondering this question for a while now, but she had been pushing it to the back of her mind. She would rather not think about it. She had other things to think about, like passing her classes, her senior year, taking care of Rin, and keeping the house clean while her father worked two jobs. She didn’t have time to think about things like that, she told herself. But she knew that no matter how hard she tried to push it to the back of her mind, or how many responsibilities she had to take on ever since her mother had died, at the end of the day, she would always end up thinking about herself. All humans were that way, so inevitably self-centered. She then realized that the self-centered part of her wanted to go with Daniel this summer. She wanted to leave this dull town, where nothing ever changed, and where the people were always so predictable. Daniel was the only person in this town who wasn’t predictable, and she knew that she was drawn to that quality. But beyond that, she didn’t know what to make of it. What was she to him? Ren sighed and let her head lay on the desk. It was funny how a seemingly silly comment from her sister could thrust her mind into such a confusing direction.

“Ren? Are you okay?” her sister’s voice seemed to float in the background.

“I’m fine. And to answer your question, no, he didn’t ask me that. Where did you get that idea?”  She brushed her hair out of her eyes and prepared herself for more interrogation from a child. What a way to pass the time.

“Well, you two spend so much time together! You’ve been together ever since you were little!” Rin said with a huge smile on her face. “He always wants to see you. I can tell that he’s always thinking of you!” Ren couldn’t suppress a laugh as she listened to her sister’s banter. Though she didn’t claim to understand what was going on in Daniel’s mind, she knew for a fact that he wasn’t “always” thinking of her. Most of the time, his mind seemed to be in the clouds, and he was always eager to talk about his view of the world, and how things would be different “out there” beyond their little town. He was filled with stories, most being either vague or ridiculous. He always made it a point to “share his knowledge” with her, and his vague ideas and schemes that he tried to get Ren to participate in, the latest one being this little summer trip. Ren always brushed these “schemes” off as unrealistic, and always said she was too busy even if his ideas did make sense. Ren wondered if that hurt his feelings. She turned back to her sister, feeling a little guilty about how passive she was being, and said, “He’s not always thinking of me, he has plenty of other things to think about. He’s going to graduate soon, he’s probably thinking about his future.” Ren hoped that would be the end of it. She was considering kicking her sister out of her room; she was being a huge distraction.

“Suuuure. But anyways, Daniel said that he’s sorry if he offended you, and he wants to meet you tomorrow so he can apologize.” Ren started to feel a little sick. After everything she had just been thinking about, the idea of seeing Daniel tomorrow made her feel a little uneasy. But she was determined to end this conversation and get back to work, so she mumbled a “Fine,” and shooed her sister out of her room.

            The next morning, Ren sat in front of the mirror, hair down, feeling dumbfounded. She didn’t know why she hadn’t put her hair up yet. She always wore it up. Her hair was fairly long, as she had been growing it out for a while, but she always put it up. Feeling more indecisive by the minute, she settled on putting half of it up and letting the rest fall past her shoulders. She would be late if she didn’t make up her mind already.

            As she walked out the door, she was surprised to find that she was even more annoyed at what she saw outside than usual. She usually didn’t pay much attention to the dull surroundings, but today she was feeling particularly irked and sickened by the sights around her. She felt like the neat little houses and the prim identical gardens were closing in on her as she walked to the park. How could those people stand it? Had everything really always been this way, so identical, so completely bland? What sickened her more was that Ren knew that her house looked like that too. She was feeling angry, and feelings she couldn’t name seemed to be taking over her mind by the minute. Acting purely on impulse, she went over to one of the gardens, plucked some hyacinths, and crushed them beneath her foot.

            Ren was surprised to find that Daniel wasn’t at the park when she arrived. He usually always got there before she did. She was beginning to feel a little frustrated. She sat down under the same tree they had met at last time and waited. She began playing with her hair. Maybe I should have put it up, she thought. She was starting to worry, and wondered if it looked alright. She frowned as she realized how petty and stupid her thoughts were becoming. Seeing Daniel walk into the park didn’t ease her worries much. She felt self-conscious and part of her wanted to run away. She put these thoughts aside and tried her best to appear like a normal human being when Daniel greeted her.

“Ren…listen, I’m sorry about yesterday. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, and I’m sorry I…”

Ren cut him off. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve just been kind of stressed out lately, and irritable. I would like to leave this town, but like you said, I have a lot of responsibilities and I can’t.” She found herself staring at the ground when she said this. She couldn’t look him in the eye. She felt herself shiver as he sat down next to her, and put his hand on hers. She turned away, blushing madly, and managed a nervous laugh. “Aren’t you going to stand up?” she asked somewhat shakily. “Things have more impact that way, right?”

“Ren, come with me.”

“What?” she stammered. Her heart was pounding now. She felt like it would leap out her body and leave of its own accord, any minute now.

“I want to take you away from here. I know you. I know how much you hate it here.”

His blue eyes were piercing her green ones now, and she couldn’t bring herself to look away anymore. She felt paralyzed, and weak. His eyes did have the power to peer into people’s souls, and now she was pretty sure he could paralyze people too. She knew her thoughts were ludicrous, but she didn’t care. After all this time, she still didn’t fully understand who he was, and he might as well be a strange being with strange powers. “How do you know I hate it here?” she muttered.

“It’s obvious,” He said, not breaking his gaze. “Ever since your mother died, you’ve had so many responsibilities dumped on you. You resent the fact that you have to be the one to take care of everything, that you’re bound to this town, and that you can never leave.” She started fidgeting. He was scaring her now. Everything he said was true, but she wouldn’t admit it.

“Who says I can “never” leave? Rin will grow up, and she’ll take care of herself.” she replied. “Right now, I’m taking care of her, and I love her. Don’t tell me I resent her!” she was surprised how fast her tone of voice had changed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had shouted.

“I didn’t say you resented Rin. Just your lifestyle,” he replied coolly.

“You didn’t have to. Rin is part of my life.” Ren said as she stood up. She felt like she had to get out of here before Daniel could point out more uncomfortable truths. She wasn’t surprised when he got up and grabbed her hand.

“Ren, I’m serious. I want to take you away from here, for good. If I don’t, you’re going to waste away here.”

“I have to go now. It’s getting late. Rin’s waiting for me to come back…” Ren mumbled as she felt the tears starting. Her hair was in her eyes, and she couldn’t see. Everything was starting to blur.

“I saw those crushed flowers on the way here. It was you, wasn’t it?” Daniel said. Ren’s head was starting to hurt. What didn’t he know? She finally managed to pry her fingers out of his grip and turned to face him.

“You…scare me. I’ve known you my whole life, but I still don’t really know who you are. I don’t really know anything about you, Daniel. And I’ve always wanted to. But it seems that I all I hear from you are stories about where you’d rather be. I can’t run away with someone like you.” Ren said quietly. Daniel’s expression suddenly softened, and even through her hair and her tears, she could see it. He was beautiful, in an otherworldly sort of way.

“I understand.” He said. “But let me just say this. You should wear your hair down more often. What’s the point of having long hair if you don’t let people see it?” He was smiling now, and Ren was as confused as ever. But for some reason, she felt calmer, and she managed to respond.

“I don’t need people to see it as long as I know it’s there.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Good-bye, Daniel.” She didn’t wait for a response as she headed back home.

Ren kicked the crushed hyacinths as she walked back. She watched them float in the air, and drop back down to the ground where they belonged. Before she knew it she was back at her house, staring at the garden with the purple hyacinths and the white lilies. But amidst the sea of purple and white, she spotted something blue. She walked over to it, and found a blue rose. It wasn’t planted, like the rest of the flowers stuck in the dirt. “It’s fake,” she said out loud. “Roses can’t be blue.” Florists surely made fake blue roses, she thought. A note was attached to it, and she opened it.

“Dear Ren,

            I’m leaving this town, and I’m not sure if I’ll be back. I can only hope that one day you’ll leave this garden on your own. Good bye.”

She stared at the note. He’s really gone, she thought. For once in her life, she knew that he was serious, and had been telling the truth.